He blames me for his erectile dysfunction! Many of us face this situation despite having no problem with our sexual activity. Actually, our partners try to hide their sexual problems. They don’t want to reveal their real sexual conditions. They fear people’s fun! It’s true that people’s fun is not a good experience for anyone. But It’s also true that you have no right to blame your partner for your erectile dysfunction problem. Here we have shared one’s experience, who was accused by her partner’s having erectile dysfunction!
How does a man with erectile dysfunction feel?
When a man has erectile dysfunction (ED), he may feel his penis relax before he has ejaculated or before he and his partner are done making love.
If a person has ED, they may also:
- Not be able to get an erection at all.
- Getting an erection that doesn’t last long enough for sex.
From a psychological point of view, ED can make a person feel ashamed, embarrassed, and angry. If it is not treated, it can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
CDC says that erectile dysfunction does not mean any of the following:
- Having trouble getting an erection sometimes
- Losing interest in sex, and
- Having trouble ejaculating, all of which can be signs of structural problems with the penis.
Partner has erectile dysfunction and is blaming me for it!
My boyfriend, who is 38 years old, has trouble getting and keeping an erection. I went out with him (F39) about 1.5 years ago for eight months. We got back together a month ago, and he told me that “this problem is fixed” and that he used to be so much in his head. The problem is, of course, still not fixed.
I’m not ugly, and I’m not bad in bed, either. When we met for the first time, he told us he had gone to the doctor to get pills because he had just quit drinking and was worried about anxiety and sex. So he already had this problem before he met me.
The last time we went out, I didn’t talk about it for months, and when I did, he seemed shocked that I felt that way and said he thought it was fine. He was very angry with me and tried to blame it on me by saying he wasn’t interested, but it was like he could never be fully turned on, and we were both very interested in each other.
We fought about it, stressing me out and making me angry. We broke up a year and a half, and when we got back together a month ago, the problem was still happening, so I told him about it and asked if he could get pills from the doctor. He said no and was very angry.
He raised his voice and said, “He’s not 25. He’s 38.” He also said that he didn’t believe me and that I was a piece of work. He also said that maybe I’m not moving right on his d***. Later, he called me, and we talked. He said he was sorry for how he acted and that he already had pills we could use if needed.
He said that he hadn’t had this problem with other women and that it wasn’t usually a problem (but he has pills at home already?). He also told me that I was kind of awkward because I hadn’t had sex in a while (it had been about a year and a half for me). He wouldn’t admit to watching too much porn, but he’s not good in bed.
He never made sure I was satisfied, and he just grabbed my breasts, kissed me hard, and stuck his tongue straight into my mouth. He also always put me on top, or doggie style. It’s not slow, fluid, or relaxing.
I just don’t know what to do. I only know that I feel bad because I think he is mad at me. He has been clean for 2.5 years but still smokes a lot, smokes weed, and drinks a lot of coffee. I thought these things would help.
How erectile dysfunction affects a woman?
The partner of a person with ED can also affect their mental health. A 2016 review found that ED can make a person’s partner feel confused, worried, unwanted, or suspicious that their partner may be cheating. These feelings can make a relationship harder.
Even though it may come as a surprise, in many states, sexual dysfunction is a valid reason for a divorce. Most of these states have laws that say it doesn’t matter if a spouse was impotent before marriage or if it happened during the marriage.